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Monday, 11 March 2013

Sexy Crocodiles

CAUTION: THE FOLLOWING POST CONTAINS IMAGES OF AN EX-EMMERDALE ACTRESS WITH NO CLOTHES ON. AND SOME CROCODILE SEX. SORT OF.

Another quick post. I have just hilariously noted from looking at my blog statistics that someone out there has googled the search term;
CROCODILE SEX SCENE
And, joy of wonderful joys, the clever magic interweb has brought them to my blog page. Now I hadn’t really thought of it before, but it’s true, if my blog lacks anything at all its almost certainly crocodile sex.
Now, this got me wondering. Was the googler searching for
A – scenes of human sex in a giant crocodile film.
B – scenes of crocodile sex in a giant crocodile film
C – Scenes of crocodile sex in just anything, really
D – Scenes of human/crocodile sex

Well, if it was C there are plenty of HOT XXX ADULT CROCODILES ONLY nature documentaries out there.
If it was crocodiles and humans having sex together in some strange way, that this person was looking for, then I’m sure there’s a fetish site out there somewhere. Forgive me if I don’t search for it myself, but I’ve just had my dinner. In any case, the idea is a fabulous one, with a heavily-pregnant crocodile giving birth to a croc with a human head, or possibly the other way around; they could make a film out of it. It could be called CROC-BOY or possibly just CROCK! And could premier on the Horror Channel. I could write it; I’m good at writing horse-shit, after all.

Anyway, if this googler person is looking for option A up there, then I have wrestled my brains to think of what he could be looking for. Now, understand that I enjoy Giant Crocodile films for their artistic value, the prowess in the make-up and prosthetic departments and the subtleties and subtexts of the story. And sometimes for the crocodiles [although I have seen one or two crocodile films that didn’t have any crocodiles in them!]. Never for the sex scenes. Well, not much anyway.
Which brings me to what lingers in my brain like a cold smelly minestrone soup; in the film BLOOD SURF [which I have on good old-fashioned video] I remember there being a memorable sex scene. It has a bloke and a young Eastern woman [not a crocodile] going for gold in a small rock-pool. The scenery is lovely, and the water nice and clear, and these two are clearly having a fun time, until I believe, the giant crocodile asks for a threesome and spoils it all. I remember this scene quite vividly, particularly ‘cos we watched it one day when my mum had popped round for her tea. Obviously, I’d forgotten about the sex bit, and thought it was a “Mam-Friendly” film to put on while we all ate our fish fingers [or whatever we ate]. The film is also known as KROCODYLUS or something like that, and actually, as giant crocodile films go, isn’t bad.
Anyway, if that google searcher revisits then hopefully that might help to answer his question.  I don’t remember any other particular sex scenes in crocodile films without googling it myself [which I’ll do later! {I won’t later “google myself”; that’s not what I meant at all.]}. I do however remember Roxanne Pallett, a young actress who used to be in Emmerdale in the UK for quite a while, who went to Hollywood to make it serious as an actress. She whipped off all her clothes for the camera and went for a swim in giant crocodile film LAKE PLACID 3, which, I suppose if you’re writing a PH.D on Sex In Giant Crocodile Films, you’ll probably need to take a look at.

Right. I,m going to go and find some pictures on the internet, which, magically, are already above. Int' technology brilliant!

4 comments:

  1. Ok this is a test comment to see if anyone else, apart from Dominic Weiss, can comment on my blog as they don't appear to be able to, which is a bit crap. So here goes.

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  2. Ok, I'm going to clarify. That post above was me, Michael, the writer of this blog, but I hadn't signed in to anything. I left a post entirely anonymously, and it has worked; I had to type the two words to ensure I wasn't a robot, clicked on publish, and presto's your sister's auntie. Hopefully it will work again here. Watch.

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  3. Krid Kradding17 March 2013 15:15

    I'm also going to post roughly anonymously instead of as Donovan Weiss, to see if Firefox works okay for this. I usually use Chrome as my browser. Worth noting that occasionally, an extension or browser will bugger up and stop a page from working properly, so if nothing else works then changing the browser is worth a try.

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  4. One more post from my phone to see if that works. Jonny, i think it is a browser problem you have.

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